I step back..
Hesitant to type blasphemy....
Crinkled nose wondering do I dare...
Funny how I know your secrets...
Without asking...
Does this make you uncomfortable?
Insecure maybe?
Nah you are more than that...
But do I need to tell you?
Uplift you?
Make you the person you are meant to be..
I am not scared...
I might have just made myself known..
Cut through the bull shit..
I step up... No doubt to keep me from moving forward any longer...
Peaceful light comes over me..
Sarcastically I boldly have no filter..
I speak clearly...
This does not make you step back?
Want to give up now?
You do have the chance to quit and just walk away...
But why am I feeling my fingertips?
Am I shocked?
Make me the person I am suppose to be...
Now I dare you..
I might have just dropped my head and fallen to the ground...
Let's not beat around the bush this time around....
Do I sit here patiently waiting for a break or do I lash out with no filter?
i open the door and walk through with all my might, tilt my head back with sunshine kissing my eyelids
Should I keep my mouth shut quietly or scream from the top of my lungs for everyone to hear my bellows?
i will conserve my energy wisely while breathing deeply from the highest volcano top
Do I crack the lid that has been boiling over or take it off and let it run all down the pot?
i decided to just let the lava run its course for the lessons needed to be learned from the universe
Should I ?
Instead I just laugh
I say thank you, thank you, thank you over and over like a broken record
I smile to myself and say OK
I giggle again uncontrollably
I do not cry, shout nor think of the possibility of this madness...
I am not even flinching at the mere fact I am standing in burning molten rock
Slap me in the face...I will turn the other cheek...
Suspend me into thin air...I will answer with alright and walk away...
Give me another catastrophe to deal with and I will take it head on...
Is this all you got?
Oh am I showing strength?
Should I be cradled?
Do you feel the need to give me pity?
No please no...
I do not have all the answers for myself or for you even right now...
I have accepted so much that tomorrows lessons blur out the ones from yesterday...
I know this phase of climbing up, stumbling down, getting back up, pushed back down and standing back up again is a blessing from the high above...
I welcome it with only peace..
I know..
I believe..
I sing..
I keep laughing...
Lets not make it harder than it has to be...
My itunes radio has left me with this last acoustic song from Tegan and Sara (Where does the good go) I have never heard before...I think I may like it therefore I will share with you....as I use my purple painted calloused fingers from continuous guitar strumming and dabble into learning how to play this tune just for now...
Bulb shines dimly to the left of me on my porch, lighting the corner space as I type. I sit here as the new moon does not give us any sign of her presence tonight. She is a dark moon. Therefore we will need to go within ourselves. I switch all lights off around me. I take a deep breath in as I place my hands over my eyes cupping my face and blow the air out forcefully. "Even I am getting tired of useless desires"-Patty Griffin sings to me over my headphones.
We are all getting tired.....
GOOD
What?
I said GREAT!!!
But We shouldn't be tired?
You should be tired....
You should be exhaustive by now....
You should feel depleted....
Fall the fuck to the ground already! Get on your knees! For god sakes lie on the floor!
CRY, CRY, CRY and LET THE TEARS STREAM DOWN YOUR FACE TILL YOU SURRENDER!
IT IS OK THE NEW MOON HAS CALLED TO YOU
THIS POWERFUL NEW MOON WANTS YOU TO KNOW THE REAL YOU
SHE WANTS YOU TO CREATE THE WORLD YOU WANT TO DESPERATELY LIVE
We are all at a breaking point but are we able to collect ourselves?
Are we able to continue marching forward with blows to our back?
Will we continue to hold our head high with believing every little thing is going to be alright? Don't worry about a thing cause you know every little thing is going to be alright, right? (quoted:)
This is my message to youuuu whooo hoo? (quoted:) Yes but are you listening to your inner messages and intuitive guidance?
Will there be an answer?
Let it be Let it be Let it be Let it be... Should we whisper words of wisdom or just let it be? (again quoted:)
Should we take our sad song and let her/him under our skin? Should we try to make it better? (lets sing a quote again if you have not realized the musicians I have been stealing words from yet)
If you want it, you got it, you just got to believe Believe in yourself... Or is it all just a game? (quote quote sing some more)
Is it a new day a new dawn for you? Are you feeling good? (mmmm which singer is this..quoted)
Then close your eyes, imagine yourself in front of you and embrace yourself.
Hug yourself, take in your own self, love it, speak to who you are and see who you really are.
Yes it may be a hundred percent love, light and happiness but it might have some dark corners that are frustrating, annoying and piercing.
At first it may be scary. Have you ever actually imagined your body in front of yourself?
We all fantasize about others, places or things being in front of us as we daydream.
We try to picture our future as we our lost into another realm.
But we never mirror ourselves in our fantasy dream world.
We never truly see ourselves being able to create the world we would like to live in.
Our thoughts have so much power to create the future and what we want from the purpose of our position here on earth.
So go ahead..I dare you....It's ok...fantasize about the beautiful or ugly that you are...
If you are not able to do this how is anyone else able to look up to you or believe in you?
How are they able to learn from you ?
How are they able to see you and want to be a better person or learn from you?
How will they be able to love you, like you, smile, joke, laugh, listen, be at peace with you, feel, caress, fight for you?
They will not be able to look through your eyes and see within your true soul if you are not able to see within your own soul...
I FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE TODAY SAW MYSELF IN FRONT OF ME IN A MEDITATION. NOT JUST MY FACE BUT MY WHOLE BODY. IT WAS A LITTLE WEIRD MEETING HEATHER BUT I EMBRACED AND HUGGED HER LIKE THERE WAS NO OTHER. I TOOK IN ALL OF HER WITH MY EYES AND TRULY STUDIED HER FROM HEAD TO TOE. I DIDN'T LIKE THE FACT THAT SHE HAS BUILT SUCH A HIGH WALL AGAINST EMBRACE THAT HER HUG FELT HESITANT TO STEP FORWARD. I FELT A STREAM OF LOVE THAT WAS YEARNING TO BE AN OCEAN. BUT HER STRONG DEAMONER AND STANCE FELT LIKE IT COULD NOT BE KNOCKED DOWN. THERE WAS TWO HALVES TO HER. PAST AND PRESENT SHE CARRIED WITH HER BUT WITH GREAT STRENGTH. THEREFORE I SHIFTED HER ENERGY AND SHINED MORE LIGHT ONTO HER WITH MUCH LOVE SURROUNDING HER BEING TO REAWAKEN HER TRUE SPIRIT...
all of a sudden my whole body shifted...I was aligned straight up from my feet to my mouth with such great force it awakened me...rays of light and warmth streamed from hands and feet as I came one with my body and came back into the present.
SO WHAT IS MY POINT? "ONE LOVE ONE HEART LETS GET TOGETHER AND FEEL ALRIGHT"?
YES when we are one with ourselves we are one with others
WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH YOUR WORDS TODAY? "I GO TO BED BUT SLEEP WONT COME. EVERYTHING IS GOING HIGHER AND HIGHER."
MEDITATE with yourself before you fall to sleep tonight and mirror your eyes looking deep into your soul
"YEA UH HUH YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS. EVERYTHING I DO, I DO IT BIG. I GOT THE PEDDLE TO THE MEDAL"
GOOD KEEP GOING DONT GIVE UP you have drive to want to be who you are suppose to be
"CAN YOU BOUNCE WITH ME BOUNCE WITH ME? CAN I GET A WHAT WHAT"?
IF YOU GOT NOTHING YOU BETTER GET UP AND GET SOMETHING let go of your fear and create...create that world that is destined to be with your mind...surrender, believe, change, love and stand up HAVE YOU HAD ENOUGH? ARE YOU GOING TO STAND UP? YOU WONT GET THERE IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE HAVE YOU CHASED ENOUGH LUCK? WE HAVE THE FLAME IN OURSELVES WE ARE THE WIND THAT CARRIES A CHANGE-CHRISTINA PERRI
