Down on my knees...

I explained to you in the last four blogs the moment I went from being down on my knees to lifting my head up again with shoulders back and light that once flickered in my eyes restored. I shared with you Reiki and integrated energy therapy that I practice and teach. What else? For some of you just starting to read my blog, my goal over the past week is to quickly bring you to the here and now of my life by the age of 34 on Sunday. Three days left.. What will I cover?
1. The last seven years
2. What I have accomplished
3. Significance of the number 34
4. Where I am at now and no more of the past
5. Why I feel the need to briefly share part of my life story

Well now we are at about age 27 when I decided to sell most of my belongings, drive my vw beetle without sleeping all the way down to Fl on the highway, get back on the plane and drive the uhaul down the following weekend to move to boca raton fl. I out of a whim decided I was going to leave everything behind me, start something new and carry on with what I love to do in my life. I was making very good money as a bartender/cocktail server/waitress at high end Italian restaurants and lounges but decided I couldn't live this life forever. (Go back to my money blog) Just when I decided to leave I was offered a job to run a new lounge owned by one of the Italian restaurants I was working at but I still believed this business was not enough for me. I have been in food and beverage since the age of sixteen. You can do the math on how many years its been if you have been following me;) (18 yrs!!) Dam I could write a book just on the customers alone lol Never mind the fact I could run a restaurant/bar like no other! Needless to say part of those 18 years, the last five years have been contributed to faithfully bar-tending and serving at a tiki bar at a hotel while doing banquets and restaurant work while being underpaid.
Why did I move to south Florida? I needed to take a risk and change. I had to make a choice to stay stuck or take a chance. Therefore that is just what I did. I enrolled in Everglades university to finish my BA in alternative medicine and science. I already had an associates degree in science plus a year in photography school. All I did with those credentials was a few weddings, portraits, com cards and band photos. Again photography was not enough for me. I did not want to spend my days with brides who acted like their wedding day had been the most stressful day of their life when it should be just one of the many happiest days. (I could do a blog alone on this subject but for now will try to keep my opinion to myself)
So when I arrived in south Florida, I had two weeks before I started school at Everglades. What did I do in those two weeks? I became depressed and distant. I knew nobody in my new town. I went to the beach, lingered at the pool, went for walks, faithfully did my pilates video, continuously got lost when I drove because everything looked the same to me and put together my new apt. My new hangout was whole foods because we didn't have that " whole paycheck" store near us up north and I would occasionally go out to dinner solo to talk to people. I was all good in those two weeks until one day I found myself crying to tears in the middle of the day on my bed that I just put the canopy frame on. I remember that day as it happened yesterday. I just sat there sobbing uncontrollably wondering did I make the right decision to leave my family and everyone I loved? Was I being selfish and didn't think of their feelings and how they may feel me leaving them? Did I not think any of this through? What am I doing and did I just run away? Am I going to be happier here? Am i really thousand of miles from my home town? The continuous questions and sorrow just poured through my heart that afternoon as I sat on my bed....
To be continued...

"In case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see, this his my heart, bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees" -jewel