Friday, April 3, 2015
How do we make ourselves still believe?
Dropped down into a computer or phone?
Or maybe just depressed bringing their shoulders forward...
my eyes are red on the inside from crying and on the outside all irritated and itchy from looking at this screen...
my skin erupts and oozes flinching in agitation and disgust from what surrenders to me...
I am being sucked vigorously into the deep hole that succumbs most of life living on this planet...
I repeat words in monotones over and over; yes a broken record we repeat to ourselves constantly....
I wake out of my slumber with a gut wrenching sensation of wishing I could close my eyes to the melody of my dreams...
WHAT DO I DO?
TELL ME AGAIN WITHOUT HAVING ME BEG
Saturday, July 5, 2014
SHINE
Some of you listen but never hear the words...
Continued paths of falling backwards or offtrack...
You may see the exact movements of my lips for your convenience. ..
But to your dismay you do not grasp what I am portraying....
Everyone wants the approval of others to do what is right...
You need the fulfillment of getting the ok...
Once they do they get this thrill in their soul like a child to do something that is only allowed on independence day...
When the fireworks are in the sky that most of you wish you can reach, you smile secretly within yourself...
You get excited about light above that is not necessarily suppose to be there after sunset...
Something unfamiliar, daring, bold, frightening to few and startling...
Therefore we wait patiently and feel the beauty shining down amongst us with delight...
Friday, June 27, 2014
Why lose the exhale when we can continue to inhale?
I breathe in, hold, heart beats faster, I listen to the pulse of blood and know that I have to let the air out for my breath to feel my presence tonight. I wipe my eyelids with the back of my two hands as I close my eyes with relaxation bringing both palms together to the center of my chest. Breathing in again I center myself. I stretch my muscles, tilt my head glancing over my shoulder and change the station again and again. I nod my head as I tilt my ear to the side, glancing out the window of darkness. I pause. Place my warm burning hands over my face, eyelids penetrating warmth through me tilting my head back. I push the wisps of hair out of my mouth with relief. I smile. I look at my screen. Hands together still I lick the two index fingers lightly. I intertwine eight of my fingers raise them over my head and point the other two up to you my new moon. I bring the knuckle of my right thumb to my third eye and implant what needs to be seen in the indent of clarity. I caress my ankles gently with one stroke and ground myself.
Why is everyone so afraid to bow down on all fours in a pyramid stance and leap forward to bring all limbs together? Why are you scared to jump forward to create unity? We all want to be one with each other but are all too hesitant to step forward. What makes your cringe with tightened muscles so viciously? Why are you so hesitant to look him or her in the eye with love and light? Do you need to forgive him, her or maybe yourself? Do you need to accept this is where you are placed right now to live? We want brief encounters filled with electricity and no tomorrows. We want to be in the moment but do not want to do the work for the next day. We succumb to the mystery because its intriguing but never unlock the story. We want easiness where we do not thrive or delve into the unknown. We crave the safety net to surround us so we will not break. We feel the need to have the last word or choice or decision or hold onto our belief and not drown under water because then we will lose control. We never desire to feel broken because someone may put our pieces together again. Open your eyes and raise your voice. No more hesitation or missing out on wishing... When will we drop the ego and just be? You made it through the night.. Just remember the next time you doubt...
"Living like you're dying
Give me your cold hands
Put them on my heart
Raise a glass to everyone
Who thinks they'll never make it through
This life
To live a brand new start
We are
We are going to be alright
We got
We got
We always got the fight in us and
We are
We are going to live tonight
Like there's no tomorrow
'Cause we are the afterlife"-Ingrid Michaelson
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Lets channel under the full moon and manifest
I am at the end of my wits
Talk to me please
I am tired
Losing hope
Fallen down to many times
Continuosly stood up
Please help
I call on you on this full moon
Pause
Wait
I will listen carefully
Breathe in deeply and release
Shoot
You are in another dimension
You need to pull yourself out
I am in another realm
Step out soon
Remember who you are
Who are you
Why are you here
To live in accordingly to the law
To reach justice
To preach
Never give up feel
Surrender to mankind
We are in need of a movement drastically within our self and in others
Keep writing
We are here
Fight listen
Keep going step out
Dont give up
Praise us dear one t=circle s and circle and circle
You teach students to give to love to know and do not back down
I want love to pour thru the eyes of mankind
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Lets channel
What am I am bringing to the table my angels
what do i do next
keep smiling and laughing We love it
breathe
I am tired though What do i do
laugh some more tell the truth you are free
But I have been slowly giving up and giving in?
i never had a head rest and now you delight me with one Thankyou
We speak in monotones hesitant to disrupt the ear of the other afraid we may shake or shatter their existence. Why?
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
The 100 Post to my Blog
Tired of wiping up the mess you have left for me...
Enough already I praise to you...
I sing from the true soul that fiercely escapes my lungs vigorously...
What the hell is wrong with you?
May I ask you dear one who do you think you may be with that smirk upon your face?
I sit here mind blown by the blastemy of our kind...
I clean my floors on my knees tonight and wonder where did everyone go so wrong with the universe...
We quote day in and day out
We post pictures, sayings, jokes, word phrases, artists, music, videos, other peoples blogs, the news...
Scroll down, like, like, dislike, scroll some more, shut off, turn back on again, why is there not a dislike button yet for a multi million company, for gods sake shut the fuck up, goodnight and good morning to you...
Oh lets check in and check out
Let's create a page to get more likes
Promote, promote and here we are again...
Pop up message, alert, event...
Join my game...
Advertise...
Distraction...
My friend of one thousand...
You did not just stalk him or her....
I would like to defriend you my ex or friend i would like to punch in the face...
Let me look at my newsfeed...
I will share...
Deactivate for no distraction...
Where did I go?
I love the instant messenger as if you are more connected to the web than the phone text..
But more in touch with the typing than to be able to pick up the dam phone and have a real conversation...
Yes brutal
Yes truth
Yes clarity
Yes negativity
Yes positivity
Yes wake up
PLEASE
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL
I step back..
Hesitant to type blasphemy....
Crinkled nose wondering do I dare...
Funny how I know your secrets...
Without asking...
Does this make you uncomfortable?
Insecure maybe?
Nah you are more than that...
But do I need to tell you?
Uplift you?
Make you the person you are meant to be..
I am not scared...
I might have just made myself known..
Cut through the bull shit..
I step up...
No doubt to keep me from moving forward any longer...
Peaceful light comes over me..
Sarcastically I boldly have no filter..
I speak clearly...
This does not make you step back?
Want to give up now?
You do have the chance to quit and just walk away...
But why am I feeling my fingertips?
Am I shocked?
Make me the person I am suppose to be...
Now I dare you..
I might have just dropped my head and fallen to the ground...
Let's not beat around the bush this time around....
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Where Does the Good Go
i open the door and walk through with all my might, tilt my head back with sunshine kissing my eyelids
Should I keep my mouth shut quietly or scream from the top of my lungs for everyone to hear my bellows?
i will conserve my energy wisely while breathing deeply from the highest volcano top
Do I crack the lid that has been boiling over or take it off and let it run all down the pot?
i decided to just let the lava run its course for the lessons needed to be learned from the universe
Should I ?
Instead I just laugh
I say thank you, thank you, thank you over and over like a broken record
I smile to myself and say OK
I giggle again uncontrollably
I do not cry, shout nor think of the possibility of this madness...
I am not even flinching at the mere fact I am standing in burning molten rock
Slap me in the face...I will turn the other cheek...
Suspend me into thin air...I will answer with alright and walk away...
Give me another catastrophe to deal with and I will take it head on...
Is this all you got?
Oh am I showing strength?
Should I be cradled?
Do you feel the need to give me pity?
No please no...
I do not have all the answers for myself or for you even right now...
I have accepted so much that tomorrows lessons blur out the ones from yesterday...
I know this phase of climbing up, stumbling down, getting back up, pushed back down and standing back up again is a blessing from the high above...
I welcome it with only peace..
I know..
I believe..
I sing..
I keep laughing...
Lets not make it harder than it has to be...
My itunes radio has left me with this last acoustic song from Tegan and Sara (Where does the good go) I have never heard before...I think I may like it therefore I will share with you....as I use my purple painted calloused fingers from continuous guitar strumming and dabble into learning how to play this tune just for now...
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
LETS START A FIRE EVERYWHERE WE GO UNTIL OUR LIVES ARE BURNING GOLD
CRY, CRY, CRY and LET THE TEARS STREAM DOWN YOUR FACE TILL YOU SURRENDER!
IT IS OK THE NEW MOON HAS CALLED TO YOU
THIS POWERFUL NEW MOON WANTS YOU TO KNOW THE REAL YOU
SHE WANTS YOU TO CREATE THE WORLD YOU WANT TO DESPERATELY LIVE
SING, SING, SING, YELL, YELL, YELL
Questions, doubts, songs, lyrics, words, affirmations wonder through our brains continuously..
TAKE A BREAK ALREADY!!!
Look at yourself in the mirror.
Seriously take a good look...
Then close your eyes, imagine yourself in front of you and embrace yourself.
Hug yourself, take in your own self, love it, speak to who you are and see who you really are.
Yes it may be a hundred percent love, light and happiness but it might have some dark corners that are frustrating, annoying and piercing.
At first it may be scary. Have you ever actually imagined your body in front of yourself?
We all fantasize about others, places or things being in front of us as we daydream.
We try to picture our future as we our lost into another realm.
But we never mirror ourselves in our fantasy dream world.
We never truly see ourselves being able to create the world we would like to live in.
Our thoughts have so much power to create the future and what we want from the purpose of our position here on earth.
So go ahead..I dare you....It's ok...fantasize about the beautiful or ugly that you are...
If you are not able to do this how is anyone else able to look up to you or believe in you?
How are they able to learn from you ?
How are they able to see you and want to be a better person or learn from you?
How will they be able to love you, like you, smile, joke, laugh, listen, be at peace with you, feel, caress, fight for you?
They will not be able to look through your eyes and see within your true soul if you are not able to see within your own soul...
I FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE TODAY SAW MYSELF IN FRONT OF ME IN A MEDITATION. NOT JUST MY FACE BUT MY WHOLE BODY. IT WAS A LITTLE WEIRD MEETING HEATHER BUT I EMBRACED AND HUGGED HER LIKE THERE WAS NO OTHER. I TOOK IN ALL OF HER WITH MY EYES AND TRULY STUDIED HER FROM HEAD TO TOE. I DIDN'T LIKE THE FACT THAT SHE HAS BUILT SUCH A HIGH WALL AGAINST EMBRACE THAT HER HUG FELT HESITANT TO STEP FORWARD. I FELT A STREAM OF LOVE THAT WAS YEARNING TO BE AN OCEAN. BUT HER STRONG DEAMONER AND STANCE FELT LIKE IT COULD NOT BE KNOCKED DOWN. THERE WAS TWO HALVES TO HER. PAST AND PRESENT SHE CARRIED WITH HER BUT WITH GREAT STRENGTH. THEREFORE I SHIFTED HER ENERGY AND SHINED MORE LIGHT ONTO HER WITH MUCH LOVE SURROUNDING HER BEING TO REAWAKEN HER TRUE SPIRIT...
all of a sudden my whole body shifted...I was aligned straight up from my feet to my mouth with such great force it awakened me...rays of light and warmth streamed from hands and feet as I came one with my body and came back into the present.
SO WHAT IS MY POINT? "ONE LOVE ONE HEART LETS GET TOGETHER AND FEEL ALRIGHT"?
YES when we are one with ourselves we are one with others
WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH YOUR WORDS TODAY? "I GO TO BED BUT SLEEP WONT COME. EVERYTHING IS GOING HIGHER AND HIGHER."
MEDITATE with yourself before you fall to sleep tonight and mirror your eyes looking deep into your soul
"YEA UH HUH YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS. EVERYTHING I DO, I DO IT BIG. I GOT THE PEDDLE TO THE MEDAL"
GOOD KEEP GOING DONT GIVE UP you have drive to want to be who you are suppose to be
"CAN YOU BOUNCE WITH ME BOUNCE WITH ME? CAN I GET A WHAT WHAT"?
IF YOU GOT NOTHING YOU BETTER GET UP AND GET SOMETHING let go of your fear and create...create that world that is destined to be with your mind...surrender, believe, change, love and stand up
HAVE YOU HAD ENOUGH? ARE YOU GOING TO STAND UP?
YOU WONT GET THERE IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE
HAVE YOU CHASED ENOUGH LUCK?
WE HAVE THE FLAME IN OURSELVES
WE ARE THE WIND THAT CARRIES A CHANGE-CHRISTINA PERRI
Monday, February 3, 2014
Silence is a virtue We are all one by love only
Silence is a virtue.....But what does virtue actually mean? What does this quote signify? Obviously I have not written in awhile. Why? Life has moved at a very fast pace for me lately as I have accomplished, moved extremely forward and I have gone within. I have no need or urge to speak from my heart for the whole world to listen to my bellows. I am in complete silence. I have come to a quiet stance where I have open and closed ALL my doors that needed to be revisted or dealt with. My buttons were finally pushed for tears to stream uncontrollably out of my eyes to break the wall that I have built so high from many disappointments, failures and struggles to not give up on the drastic decision that i made seven years ago. Therefore I will give you the defintion of VIRTUE through the eyes of Christianity and Buddhism for you to be familar with where I may be. Love and light until I write and blog to you again...
CHRISTIANITY
The three theological virtues are
Faith, Hope and Love, a list which comes from 1 Corinthians 13:13
The same chapter describes love as the greatest of the three, and further defines love as "patient, kind, not envious, boastful, arrogant, or rude."
(The Christian virtue of love is sometimes called charity and at other times a Greek word agape is used to contrast the love of God and the love of humankind from other types of love such as friendship or physical affection.)
The Bible mentions additional virtues, such as in the "Fruit of the Holy Spirit," found in Galatians 5:22-23: "By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit it is benevolent-love: joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, benevolence, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is absolutely no law against such a thing."
BUDDHISM
Buddhist practice as outlined in the Noble Eightfold Path can be regarded as a progressive list of virtues.
Right View - Realizing the Four Noble Truths
Right Mindfulness - Mental ability to see things for what they are with clear consciousness
Right Concentration - Wholesome one-pointedness of mind
Buddhism's four brahmavihara ("Divine States") can be more properly regarded as virtues in the European sense.
They are:
Metta/Maitri: loving-kindness towards all; the hope that a person will be well; loving kindness is "the wish that all sentient beings, without any exception, be happy."
Karuṇā: compassion; the hope that a person's sufferings will diminish; compassion is the "wish for all sentient beings to be free from suffering.
Mudita: altruistic joy in the accomplishments of a person, oneself or other; sympathetic joy -"the wholesome attitude of rejoicing in the happiness and virtues of all sentient beings."
Upekkha/Upeksha: equanimity, or learning to accept both loss and gain,praise and blame, success and failure with detachment, equally, for oneself and for others. Equanimity means "not to distinguish between friend, enemy or stranger, but to regard every sentient being as equal. It is a clear-minded tranquil state of mind - not being overpowered by delusions, mental dullness or agitation."
Love and light
Namaste
We are all one
Blogging will began again soon
But will be moving to a new blog site...
Until we meet again...
Believe and love
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
12/11/13
Monday, September 9, 2013
I let go
She Let Go
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore. -ernest holmes
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Excuse me
Edgy blunt words blurt freely from my lips...
I smirk..
Did you just take a step back?
Puzzled look upon your fragile face...
Did I bother you?
Heart starts to beat at a rapid pace...
Cat got your wet tongue?
I stare directly at your pupils.
I pierce through your confused soul.
Why do I have this god forsaken power over you?
Never attempted to do so.
Never to be not one with you.
Therefore I freeze without a soft whisper.
Racism is a brutal word.
Criticism is evil.
Judgement serves no purpose.
Beauty verses ugliness has no reason.
Would it be easier for you to lose your sight?
Driven to rely on what you sense.
Taken down to inhale someones scent.
Eager to reach out to grasp anothers warmth.
Cats tongue now needing to taste.
Your ears hear a little clearer now?
Drama drama drama
Television television television
News news news
Newspapers
Magazines
Government
Change change change
Hatred hatred hatred
Jealously jealously jealously
Pears
Friends
You
Excuses excuses excuses
Excuse me
Excuse...
ME.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Red hands Walk off the earth
Watch "Red Hands - Walk off the Earth (Big Guitar Version!)" on YouTube
Oh yeah, oh yeah-ah, that gun is loaded
I know that I messed up a few times or watcha wanna call it
I know if I fell down, you'd change the way that I saw it
I put it on the line for this time only(Is that what you really want?)
I can't see that I got red hands, I'm colorblind singing (day-oh)
Don't put the blame on me, child, the damn thing gone wild (day-oh)
Never wanted to be fooling you, can't believe I was ruining you-oo(Is that what you really want?)
Oh yeah, oh yeah-ah, that gun is loaded
That gun is loaded, but it's not in my hand
That gun is loaded, but it's not in my hand
The fire burns, I'm not the one with the match, man
That gun is loaded, but it's not in my hand
Oh yeah, oh yeah-ah, that gun is loadedI've seen it all before, you back out, and everything's changingI needed something more, you stepped down, so what are you chasing?
I'd put it on rewind for this time only(Is that what you really want?)
I realize that I got red hands, I wanna change this (day-oh)
Don't ask me why I choose to lie, I stay blind, oh (day-oh)
It's clear to me that you are fuming too, your accusations are burning through-oo(Is that what you really want?)
Oh yeah, oh yeah-ah, that gun is loaded
That gun is loaded, but it's not in my hand
That gun is loaded, but it's not in my hand
The fire burns, I'm not the one with the match, man
That gun is loaded, but it's not in my hand
Oh yeah, oh yeah-ah, that gun is loadedOh yeah, oh yeah-ah, that gun is loaded
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Surrender by the New Moon
I hault
Step back and drop down
Hand over the guns
I surrender to you
I realize I have no control therefore I stop
No more running, drowning in the hole that sucks me in
No racing to what I may think is right
No hesitations
Never to doubt all the signs ever
I am not able to reach the finish line until I give in
I will now listen
Forgive me again
I will actually take my first deep breath in
To see what is standing right in front of me
Quiet my ego and exhale
I clearly see the lesson
Still..
Bewildered...
Struggles...
Pain...
Knocks...
Visions...
And it won't stop
No
Oh
It won't stop
Until I hear you
Until I understand
Open my door that has been closed shut
Roll the windows down
Let the air in gracefully
Please be gentle on me
I ask for guidance
I have no choice
No excuses
No more questions
This time I truly let go
Patience is a virtue
Strength kills fears
For this is my new moon
My new beginning
Thankyou
Photo by LA Olson
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Fire Works Lightening
Lying on the dirt I am amazed by your colorful light. I watch and listen to your pounding heart. Patiently waiting for the next bang. You get louder and louder drowning out my blood. I lie for I am able to understand you. You surprise me with your new delight. Hours and hours go by and you continue to filter through my ears. Are you not tired of being known? You have made your entrance clear. All of sudden you are no longer there but some other energy has replaced you. Much brighter, stronger, full of vigor and strength. You do not take up only a part of my sky but fill the entire space. Piercing diagonally I never knew you broke up in that way. The smell I inhale becomes familar. You continue reassuring me that you are near. You make no noise but seep through my veins even with my eyes shut tight. Gracefully you outshine the depths of my soul quietly but fiercely. Lightening you are... Beautiful...
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Look up Chin up
For lips move worlds..
For daybreak shakes hidden souls...
Words kisses slips through breath...
Light darkness mingles in depths of the unknown...
Pierce her heart with a beat she never knew...
Pound on her drum with fight...
Out loud you will move a mountain...
Breaking the wall that has grown...
Chances promises questions doubts fears hopes dreams leads...
Lightening strikes more than once while thunder will follow through...
Rain falls hard while clouds will hang listless above...
Drain the water with lightening fire...
Diminish the condensation that lurks mid air...
Light rays are beautiful when able to shine...
The colors of love take flight
Soon to disapear...
Soon to be missed...
Soon to be gone...
Act now for tomorrow may be never near...
Rainbows only appear by luck...
When the noise stops and silence whispers in your ear...
Look up..
chin up...
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Turn off all the lights
I sit in the dark...
All lights diminished...
Burned out...
Dwindling specks of light flourishing through the creases...
I mingle with the depths of forbidden thoughts...
Purged through the frequency of the heart...
Beating skipping fluttering...
Thrown in the entanglement of justice...
Surveying the priceless moments of exuberant encounters...
Beating the impediment gestures of decisions...
Floating to the surface back to the inner realm...
Repeating to my light...
I forgive you...
(Taking a deep breath in)
I forgive you...
(Exhaling the air out)
I forgive you...
(The past is now gone)
I forgive myself...
(My tongue starts to tingle)
I forgive myself...
(The lips crease upwards)
I forgive myself...
(The future has now begun)
Forgive me
(I sincerely am sorry)
Forgive me
(For my darkness will now shed only love)
Forgive me
(This resonance is dispersed)
Forgive me for now I am in the present..
Where light will know no darkness that diminishes purpose...
Where turbulent waters will not be able to drown the depths of the soul...
Where fighting and ignoring the signs of of truth will not be able to sucomb to excuses...
Turn on the lights...
Tune into the present...
Follow the ???????
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Drink more water
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Friday, June 14, 2013
Like a moth to a flame..
Beauty resists hidden behind the depths of one soul...
Life encounters the lonely shelter of the frame...
Do I dare to sucomb to the listless nights of desire?
Be taken by the energy of the residue...
Dragged down into tempation of fire...
Relentless pursuits of dwindling demeanor. ..
Ignite the flame driven to repent ...
Throw the branches into the light...
Entangle enable fight or flight...
Preacher speaks of his opinionated views...
World forsaken from their sneaky objectives...
Clouds continue to move...
Darkness hangs high over the horizon...
Stillness is captured and erupts...
Water puts out fire...
Fire melts metal...
Metal disrupts wood...
Wood balances this earth...
Earth survives by droplets of water...
We will not be forsaken by this cycle...
Destiny...
Fate...
Just be...
Love and light...
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